mypowerplan.myfreeforum.org :: The Lighter Side Of Plan4Power Members

DougTidwell

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We have a post going in the TBG, Team Builders Group,
that was a place for members to post humorous or
interesting facts they find or have.

Please post here as a REPLY to this thread.

Lets have some fun with it and enjoy some laughs.

Laughter is the best medicine, and I believe it.

I love to laugh.

Have Fun.

Doug Tidwell
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cathyromine

Hey Doug,

Glad we have this in this section also for everyone
to read and hopefully enjoy...They say laughing extends
your life by 8 years.

Here you go:

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother

billhinkle

Got one for ya. Trouble is it is a true story.
Made me laugh but rather ended a friendship.

I was dating this lady for about a year and she started
hinting that maybe we should think about marriage.
Whewwww.. now what do I do ??

It came to me in an instant.

I said that was a good idea.
I then asked her if she knew anyone who would want us..LOL

Wasn't long and that friendship went south..LOL

That's my funny for today. Good idea Doug.
Laughter is also the way to true love which also adds years.

Thanks Doug,

Bill Hinkle

DougTidwell

cathyromine

For those who have seen my squidoo, website
and myspace you will understand this...

I just had a message on myspace.

It asked,

"Are you Ron Paul's Wife" lol...
I read it to Johnny and he said to
reply and say "how did you know" lol

Poor guy!

cathyromine

This had to be here

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
_________________
http://www.plan4power.org/?walkingeagle37

cathyromine

THAT'S ITALIAN!!

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed
her female cycles
for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying,
the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The
girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and
distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit
steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living
room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good Morning,
your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of
my personal family situation but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her
life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail
stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If
a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank
account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if
there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You try again."
_________________
http://www.plan4power.org/?walkingeagle37

Leon

Leon

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you
stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

cathyromine

Mail that to me Leon if I can copy and
paste, I want to show it on myspace, lol

Leon

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a
snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Leon

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

Leon

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and
keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,

"For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"

Leon

You might find out some interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) don't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

21.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

22.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

23.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

cathyromine

Cute, lol

I can copy, copy to mail, copy
to pic in save, guess can't just get
it in the door at myspace, Oh well...
it was a good one...