mypowerplan.myfreeforum.org :: The Lighter Side Of Plan4Power Members

all-u-need

Happy New Year... from Uncle Jay

Who's Uncle Jay???

A pretty funny guy... and he sings too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWiXy55OHyY&fmt=18

Oh... and Happy New Year from me, too!

all-u-need

Here's a tune that'll get ya hoppin' and
yep, it's another oldie... but I also think...
it's timeless.
It's the first time that I've ever seen a pic
of Dave "Baby" Cortez; seems to have the
Little Richard look going on.

Anyway... I'm not entirely sold on the
visuals supplied with this song but the audio is
great!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OI77Wyw_fk&fmt=18

Crank it up

lerdbaron

If Only Women could be this 'simple'! LOL.

THE MAN RULES :

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl now. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Do you?
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best way to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know that men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

So, these are the man rules. Hope you had a good laugh. Show it to your mate for an even bigger laugh.

all-u-need

Time to update this thread a bit...

Some great songs have a message;

others don't... but either way, it's Great Music!

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=LCc8wyBBsbA&fmt=18

all-u-need

The Evolution Of Man

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark
at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this,
I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back
the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For
this I will give you a twenty year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you
back 10 like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the Farmer all day and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
the Farmers Family. For this I will give you a life span of
sixty years."

The Cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give you back the
other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created Man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play,marry and enjoy your life.
For this I will give you a life span of 20 years."

But Man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me
my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave
back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support
our Family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain
the Grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch
and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

spyhard

Very Good!!

mtinsdale

Guess I'm in the Monkey stage entertaining the grandkids

all-u-need

It's amazing that so many good jokes
can be ripped off from other forums!

Here's another...

You'll really appreciate the creativity of this one;
even if you're a romantic at heart.

I think that covers the bases...

Before marriage...

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage...

Simply read from the bottom to the top.

all-u-need

I was reminded of this song and album (A1A) the other
day, when I noticed an old Carlos Castaneda
book on the shelf - 'A Separate Reality'.
There was a time when I'd put the album on
the turntable, crank it up, and begin reading
about Don Juan's adventures.
Now, you'd think that the music would be
distracting

but not so... at least in this case.

Reminds me of these lyrics:
"So won't you dream on compadres, seems nothing escapes you
Nothin', no reason, no rhyme
That's 'cause everyone here is just more than contented
To be livin' and dyin' in three-quarter time"
Jimmy Buffett
From:
Nautical Wheelers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw5TIAaw1co&fmt=18

Great tune and a great album.

Hope you enjoy!

Leon

We've all had trouble with our animals,
but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.
No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always
get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason
but lied anyway, because the truth was just
too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned
that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped
I would feel up to coming in the next day. By
then I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to
explain the bandage on the top of my head. The
accident occurred mainly because I had given in
to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after
breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out
to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal
is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through
the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it
yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts
going and sucks me in?"

There was a meaningful pause and then,"C'mon, it'll
only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping
that my silent outraged nudity would make a
statement about how I perceived her behavior as
extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head
under the sink to find the button. It is the last
action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect
to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal
drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was
our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling
objects she spied hanging between my legs.

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me
as I reached under the sink. And at the precise moment
when I was most vulnerable, she leaped at the toys I
unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-
like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily
movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed,
with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my
masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the
"flight" option. I know this from experience. I was
fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and
cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The
impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and
the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than
finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked
in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the
paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to
conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress
their hysterical laughter... and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I
finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues
tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head
injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to
talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They
all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!!

dr.decor

Leon...sorry about the situation and I understand but when I read this it is hysterical

Leon · Last edited by Leon on Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:46 am; edited 1 time in total

all-u-need

Wife asked, "What are you doing today?"

Husband said, "Nothing."

Wife said, "You did that yesterday."

Husband replied, "I know but I wasn't finished last night."

Hokay... maybe ya laughed or maybe ya groaned;
BUT... I try to cater to all...

Here's a great tune with an educational component:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQCe_N9no0s&fmt=18

Enjoy!

all-u-need

There are a lot of Forwards that end up

in our mailboxes and we wonder... huh?

This is NOT one of them... Great Stuff!

5 and a half minutes of good vibes...

so make sure that you have the time to

absorb this... and turn up your speakers.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741

Leon

Hi Lorne,

That was some great stuff! THANKS!

Wonderful collaboration with everyone involved too.

Peace,